Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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