i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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