go do what you do best...puke behind churches
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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