need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
