i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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