Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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