dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
