sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
COCAINE IS GR8
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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