I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize