you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
