8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
