PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
