Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
