Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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