Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
