apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize