I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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