the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
