Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can you bring me the toilet please
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize