we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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