In the future we'll all be gay
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize