im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize