wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
