9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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