this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
