There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
