I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
