Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
