I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
