i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
