Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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