I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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