Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
