So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
