apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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