She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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