I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
