Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
