I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
