I wish I only lived at night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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