I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
