Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
