Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
