Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize