i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
nutella sex= disaster
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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