What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
