but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I could make wine with my vomit
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize