You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
