I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
