it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
