Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize