It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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