he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
