I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize