PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
