Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
