his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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