Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
