now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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