the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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