WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
