He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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