he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
