I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
