ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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