This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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