i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
