my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
