i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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