break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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