so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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