Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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