ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
