She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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